Are you in love with your phone, asked New York Times in an article, which Pernille shared on Facebook the other day.
Wouldn’t it be great to be able to answer NO?
But for many of us the reality is that we have allowed the phone to enter our relationships as a very dominant third party. But something is happening right now. We are feeling the negative impact, more people are talking about quitting Facebook, making etiquette rules and turning the bedroom into a phone free zone. We don’t want to be controlled by our phones, and we believe that we will soon see many more signs like the one, we spotted in a coffee shop in Lisbon.
We believe that many of us have become aware that something needs to change. This week we have gathered some interesting reads and good advice to help us end this toxic love affair.
The article that made us reflect
We would like to think that it’s not that bad, we are adults and able to control our addiction. But clearly not, the article from New York Times quotes a 2016 study published in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture. 70 percent of women revealed feeling that smartphones had a negative impact on their primary relationship.
According to the article, there is even a word for it.
“ The conflict between phone love and human love is so common, it has its own lexicon. If you’re snubbing your partner in favor of your phone it’s called phubbing (phone + snubbing).”
It is not just teenagers, who need a curfew for their online time. The rest of us obviously need it too. Check out the article for some good tips.
Inspiration from a Life Designer
Also check out the Facebook post from Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Meditation teacher Camilla Sacre-Dallerup, author of the soon to be released book “Reinvent Me”. Some of you might remember her from our Look Good /Feel Good/ Do Good event in L.A. back in February.
Anyway she has been thinking about this too and posted some really useful tips to get some Zen time with your loved ones and yourself.
Being more present is one of the keys to a good relationship, and if we are constantly checking our phone in the middle of a conversation, we are obviously missing out on being in the now. If you then add that being online triggers a lot of dopamine – the reward/pleasure feeling in the brain, we have the key to potential addiction.
Read more about why we become addicted and why we need a dopamine detox.
Is mindfulness loosing its true meaning?
While reading about all this, we also came across this interesting story. French Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard, one of the world’s most famous mindfulness experts, talks about the modern undermining of the true meaning of mindfulness, because most of the offerings are self-centered and without morals.
“It’s a “me me me” mindfulness that might be good for you, but doesn’t necessarily make you good, “ he says and points out that the ancient Buddhist tradition offers a much-needed ethical framework that integrates concepts like compassion, empathy and caring.
Have a read and also check out his tips on how to be present. And it’s not just about breathing – he talks about Flow, Exuberance and Ecstasy.
Book on the Nightstand
We just ordered as copy of the book Irresistible – The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping of Hooked by Adam Alter.
Another bestselling author Malcolm Gladwell praises the book.
“As if to prove his point, Adam Alter has written a truly addictive book about the rise of addiction. Irresistible is a fascinating and much needed exploration of one of the most troubling phenomena of modern times.”
We can’t wait to read it and hope all this has inspired you to put the phone down.
See you after your break, detox or whatever you decide to do.
The GLD team 🙂